This is my son.

Just the sight of him has instilled fear in the hearts of high school girl's fathers.

He is 16.

He just got his temporary driver's license.

O-h m-y g-a-w-d, I just came back from taking him on the streets of our town. First let me say, we didn't run over any people, animals or mailboxes.

I realized, once safely home in my own garage - the hood of the car up against a bookcase I have on the back wall, that letting him drive on the streets for the first time is like delegating an important project to a brand new employee. The employee is inexperience, eager and able to do UNBELIEVABLE, LIFE ALTERING DAMAGE.

And yet, at some point we have to let go and trust. The saying "Let go, Let God" comes to mind, and let me tell you, the past 40 minutes were one long continuous prayer.

So what worked:

Telling him, in advance, what was expected of him, what direction he was going to go in and the steps he would take to get there.

Not unlike delegating to an employee. If we just say - there's the goal - just get there - that will work for a seasoned employee - but if that is all the direction we give a newbie we are setting them up for failure. However, giving them details along the way, will help them succeed. For example, I said, at the next street you will turn right and you'll need to let the drivers behind you know your intentions. He knew to put on his turn signal.

The next time I wanted him to turn I simply said - you'll turn right at the next stop and he remembered to use his turn signal.

What didn't work:

Screaming.

I found that motivational technique to give me heart palpitations and scared him into oncoming traffic.

With a new employee it might insight tears, anger, frustration and certainly marginal results.

What worked:

Encouragement. Specific encouragement so that he knew which behaviors were performed correctly: great use of the brake before you turned. Nice acceleration. Beautiful complete stop. (The problem with this last task is he has yet to see me demonstrate the correct behavior as I lean toward rolling stops.)

What didn't work:

Hovering. "Okay, apply the brake, more, more, MORE,

MORE

!

Employees don't need us hovering either.

What worked:

Setting a specific time for the task. Setting aside an amount of time gave him a chance to practice and yet also a light at the end of the tunnel when he got stressed - only 10 more minutes of Mom's white knuckled grip on the door frame.

Same with employees - if they are trying something new that is unfamiliar to them - have them work on the task for a specified time and then go back to something they are comfortable with. It gives them a chance to practice and a chance to feel successful.

We all have to let go. At work and at home. Although delegating can be hard - in the long run it helps everyone grow to become better people; better employees; better drivers!

Deborah Chaddock Brown
Professional Writer, Backseat Driver, Proud Mom
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