Even with our lips closed, our body is speaking – Part Three
Have you been watching the body language of those around you? It's pretty interesting, isn't it?
Today, in the final episode of examining how our body speaks for us, we cover the hands, personal distance, ears, mouth and nose. What do these parts of our body say when we aren't speaking?
HANDS
Hands gestures could be a message all by themselves. They are just so fun! They can be used for good and for evil. A new craze is the use of "air quotes." I recently attended a dinner with someone who had a word in every sentence she felt needed air quotes. What's up with that? Her air quotes took on a life of their own, and it was difficult to hear the words she spoke for the effort it took not to laugh!
A general rule with hands is that when the palm is facing up it depicts an open, friendly demeanor. When shaking hands, keep the hand straight, thumb facing the ceiling. This conveys a message of equality. A palm down handshake generally sends a message that is dominant and even aggressive.
PERSONAL DISTANCE
We all have a zone of safety that surrounds us. For some the zone is larger than others. When we stand too close, we can appear to be hovering, pushing and overbearing. If you move closer to someone and they take a step back, make a mental note that you've stepped into their "safety" zone. Pull back a little so that they feel comfortable.
Conversely, if you are standing or sitting too far away, you'll appear to be distancing yourself from the group or conversation. People may even think you are being stand-offish.
EARS
What message can we convey with our ears? Hopefully, they are open and listening. Remember the old adage, we have one mouth and two ears and they should be used proportionately.
MOUTH
Have you ever seen someone purse their lips? Don't you immediately feel their disapproval? Did you know that some people actually use this movement when they are deep in thought and not disapproving at all? The mouth can be very revealing – smiles convey warmth, or appear condescending or smirking.
NOSE
I believe that Jimmy Durante was the most famous nose communicator, so unless you are Jimmy or Cyrano De Bergerac – I don't think you have to be concerned about your nose as it relates to communication.
So there you have it. A walk through our body and the message each part is sending as we speak. The next time you are listening to someone talk, be aware of their body movements. Are they moving in such a way as to contradict their message? Are their movements distracting? Which part of the body is giving you away when you speak? Remember, even when our lips are closed, our body is still speaking volumes!
Communications | admin | 19 May 2006 |
