Have you ever considered what ego is and perhaps more importantly what ego is NOT?

What it is... Ego is the individuality or personality of a person to which the person identifies himself or herself. When you think of "I" you are identifying yourself with whatever the rest of that thought or sentence contains. For example, to say "I am hungry" is to identify yourself with hunger and following that the goal to satisfy hunger. It is important to note, this as a temporary state. Once hunger is satisfied, you no longer identify yourself with hunger since you now say; "I am full!", until... that is... you are hungry again!

Can you think of other ways we associate "I" with things? Our cars, sports teams and soft drinks are easy ones. Are we really the Pepsi Generation for example? Go a little deeper and you start to see more and more associations, some not so readily or easily talked about. Identifications with political parties or political issues as in global warming or the associations we make regarding the current state of whether or not to go to war with Iraq.

These go right down to what you believe to be true or false, good or bad and right or wrong about anything. If you feel a challenge to your sense of honesty, your sense of fairness or your values, say hello to your ego! The point is, allowing your ego to intervene can drastically disrupt, hinder and prevent you from that true understanding of the other person.

What it is not... Ego is not you. It is just a thought or identification or association you have made. Just as you have made one identification, so can you make another. As the simple example of hunger can be changed by eating, so to, can you change what you think about anything. Don't believe it?

Think of something you wanted really, REALLY bad as a kid. Something you new you just HAD to have in order to be happy, pretty, cool or popular. Well, whether you got it or you did not get it, you are still here today and chances are that identification you made is no longer there. And there is the point. The associations are just that, mental connections. They are NOT real.

So, understanding the link between ego and you can lead to a better understanding of yourself. That knowledge allows you to set your ego aside or as Mahan Khalsa says in his book, Let's Get Real or Let's Not Play, "Leave your ego at the door."

This is an enabling way to be, not just for yourself but for those you serve, those folks we commonly call clients, associates, family and friends.