Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry
Filed in archive Communications by Deborah Brown on September 2, 2007
Do you remember that 1970's movie with Ryan O'Neal and Ali MacGraw, Love Story, in which the tag line was just that "love means never having to say you're sorry.
My mom and I went to see that and had to sit in the darkened Theatre
for 15 minutes afterward to pull our sobbing selfs together. Once we got out of there my mom said "that's a bunch of hooie - when you are married you say "sorry" all the time!"
Well, whether you believe the movie or my mom, there are times when you have to say "no" and the second thing out of your mouth is "I'm sorry."
Why do we do that? When someone asks a favor or requests that we work on a committee or do a project for less than our regular price - why do we follow up "no" with "I'm sorry?"
Are we really sorry?
What are we sorry for?
Leo Babauta of Freelance Switch offers 8 Essential Strategies for Saying No and number 8 is just that - don't say I'm sorry.
8. Never say you're sorry. Again, you have to respect your time. If you apologize, you are sending the message that you are doing something wrong by saying no, that somehow you don't have a strong right to say no. It's very tempting to apologize, I know. We often say things like, "I'm sorry, but ..." or "I wish I could, I'm so sorry" just because we're uncomfortable giving an outright no. But again, you are sending the wrong message.
Save your "I'm sorry" for when you really mean it. Like when your teen asks to borrow the car keys. hahaha.
Deborah Chaddock Brown
Writer
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