This is my son. He is 16. He has a mind of his own. Unfortunately.

But he surprised me this spring by bringing home an application for the All Ohio Youth Choir, a select group of singers who perform 6-8 concerts per day at the ohio state Fair. Ohio is the only state that has a choir and this tradition goes back to 1963 when the founding choir director, Glenville Thomas started AOSFYC.

I was a member of the State Fair choir in 1974 and then traveled to Europe singing my way across the continent in 1975.

The fact that my son would want to do anything I had done was shocking and heartwarming at the same time.

Although several hundred apply, only a small number are chosen and we were both excited when he received his acceptance letter.

Until this week.

The music arrived - over 50 pieces he needed to study and memorize - along with a contract that he needed to sign. It included 47 rules to which he needed to agree and adhere.

Several were worrisome to my teen. He needed to cut his hair, shave his goatee and refrain from PDA (public displays of affection) while in uniform.

WHY.

He asked.

I said that while in uniform he was upholding a long standing tradition and representing the teens of our state and if he went to Europe, the teens of our country.

Why would PDAs harm the image of teens in this country?

He started to go down the list questioning the rules. I had visions of him being sent home - a written reprimand being sent to his choir director and principal to go in his PERMANENT file.

I didn't feel like I was providing an effective argument and feared he would break the rules.

And then my son said something brilliant.

"Mom, I am never going to stop questioning the rules that people try to impose on me. But breaking the rules is totally a different issue."

And I thought about the business world. Do we embrace those that question rules; that don't respond favorably when we reason that "it's never been done that way before" and so don't rock the boat?

No. We fear that because something is questioned it means that people are going to break the rules or embarrass us or create a disastrous situation that we'll have to resolve.

When in fact, questioning is just a way for clearer understanding. Questioning doesn't mean someone is going to refuse the path we've laid out; they just want to understand the reasoning. And by questioning we are forced to look at the situation, task, rule, policy and see if it is valid.

Just because we haven't done it before doesn't mean we can't try a new way.

Some rules are there for our safety. Some rules are there because of other's actions before us. Sometimes they are there "because I said so." We might get away with that reasoning with elementary school children and our pets, but in business (and with teens) we have to have a little more substantial reasoning.

Questioning authority - is it good? Well, it certainly makes us think. And by thinking, I believe it makes us better.

I have just dropped my son off for his All Ohio State Youth Choir experience and as I drove the three hours home I reflected over our conversation and was proud that my son is one that questions.

If more people throughout history, in business and in politics and in life, had questioned authority we might have avoided some of our more shameful moments.

Think about your associates. What do you think of those on your team that are "yes men" vs. those that question the direction you have laid out? It's easier to surround yourself with those that agree and just do as they are told but I believe that having a few that question your vision may make for better employees and a better company in the long run.

Deborah Chaddock Brown
Writer